Alright, let's just get this out of the way.
No, I don't listen to the radio. I don't have any use for those frequencies (minus NPR) toting lollipop melodies like a corporate-driven falcon vomiting half-digested worms on all of her starved children. I find my music the old fashioned way; soundtracks from the Twilight saga and internet blogs.
Mind you, the blogosphere is the better alternative, but it's by no means a flawless algorithm. Case and point: Surfer Blood.
There's a lot of stockaded ammunition I could start this out with.
I'm not going to go there, but I want you to know that I know that you know that your cover sucks. It's offensive and overly stereotypical. Of course you want to berate this poor fish and make him seem all ferocious when he was probably just caught mid-sentence saying something encouraging to his sharkmates.
You bastards. How would you feel about something like this?
You think you know sharks? You think just because you've grown up in Florida (let's face it, America's goiter), you know all about one half of my genetic material? I scoff to think of just how ignorant you all must be. But if that's how it's gonna be, I'll take no mercy bringing your stoned asses down a notch or two.
No, I haven't listened to your afro'ed nonsensical record. If I know one thing, it's that I won't stand for this kind of blind ignorance when you're helping perpetuate a negative prejudice that's about as ill-founded as Scarlett Johansson's musical "career" (I'm using the term liberally here).
Taking a gander at your song titles, I'd have to say you're somewhat discredited via your pot-induced tracks. "Floating vibes", eh? "Slow Jabroni"? "Twin Peaks"? I mean, David Lynch is just bat shit.
Phrases like your track "Take It Easy" are leading me to believe you're just the drug-laden commies the good people from D.A.R.E.. warned me about; and not the recreational type. You won't stop until you've "take-it-easy-bro"ed the whole world with your indie chillwave.
Yeah, I know your type.
But don't you dare think you know mine.
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