I'll bet you thought you'd fall right through the cracks did't you, Vampire Weekend? Thought that just because your album came out before the blog was in existence that I wouldn't call you on your shit. Well guess what? The call comes now, Batman.
It would be one thing if we hadn't had a history. You're all Owen Wilson like "why you gotta be so messed up towards me?" and I'm totally Zoolandering you with the "I think you and I both know why" zing. Don't act like you didn't just take my mom out for dinner and ask her to leave the tip. But that's not what burns me now. Neither is it you asking her if she wants to head back to your place. I mean, there's like four of you. Isn't that illegal in thirteen states? If not, it damn well should be.
But Happy Father's Day, just in case.
You parade around like you own Futura Bold. Do you think you're in some sort of Wes Anderson flick?
Don't think I haven't seen your album cover. What the hell does she have to do with 1987's arcade smash? Judging from your last cover, it seems like you just take random flickr pics and make them your next cover.
I'll save you the trouble for your next 3 LP's: "Arkanoid", "Frogger", and "Galaga" (thank me via PayPal).
If that's not enough, you take the term "preppy afro rock" to a new low. Isn't the goal with you Ivy League grads to not care? Here I am, expecting a lot more of a Galifianakis sort of mentality, but instead you lampoon the industry with an album that actually IMPROVES on the last sound. In this economy?! This same time last year you didn't give a rat's ass about Oxford's superficial punctuation and now you decide to do the opposite of MGMT and make an album that really tries to be something good?
They've got a few word for pricks like you: Over-achievers.
I didn't like them in rehab and I'm sure as hell not starting now.
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