Under-The-Influence-Tronica

I hear people complaining all the time about their places of employment. They come to me all "you have it easy" or "if only I could have a job as semi-professional amateur blogging apprentice". Well, I've got news for you. This shit ain't just waking up at noon, waffles, free music, and international fame and fortune. I mean, I get all of the aforementioned but, truthfully, it's all just to compensate the long hours I have to put into this.
You think it's easy being a cultural commentator? I wake up every morning around noon; which maybe isn't the earliest but if you consider the time on the West Coast, I'm basically up every morning at nine. And every knows, it's five o'clock somewhere. Besides responding to the onslaught of emails and xbox time, I'm pouring all of my heart and soul into writing for you guys; whoring myself emotionally better then Oprah. That's time I could probably be spending with a child or two I potentially have in Jersey if this subpoena holds any weight.

Have you seen the super awesome design of this blog? I can tell you that it didn't damn well design itself. And then, once I've spent the whole two hour work day trying to write some fresh literature and wow the nets with some razzle dazzle, it's time for research. That's usually around 9pm where I've gotta go out and hit up the clubs and dive bars; indulging in a night of heavy drinking with this alt culture.

But I don't do it because of the free booze, the endless rush of concert tickets, or the lifestyle of an indie rockstar.
I do it because I'm offering something priceless.

And that's knowledge.
And that shit'll take you somewhere.

In this way, I'm giving more than just YOU something that's going to last.
I'm giving your children and their children's children and their children's children's robots (by then, it will undoubtedly be the future) something that will last too.

It's called an education.

I'm more or less a philanthropist with a blog, which is more than I can say for most philanthropists.

So while engaging in some Research & Development this past weekend, I came across anther Brooklyn hometown act that deserved my attention. They're called Yeasayer and their Wikipedia page is only seven lines long, which means by comparison, I'm going to write an effing biography.

According to the Wiki, they're labeled as "experimental rock", "psychedelic pop", and "worldbeat". I didn't know what any of those words meant so I googled them. Turns out googling "experimental" and "psychedelic" will lead you to some seriously illegal stuff. The most PG-rated I can keep this (which is, coincidentally, the rating I'd assign to this blog) is probably just referencing you to the album art. It's like a Nintendo64 game on acid.

I'll tell you this much, Yeasayer will make you want to call date rape on their trippy asses. I've never done any drugs or seen very many drugs being done but I have seen Johnny Depp in "Blow" and I did see "Walk The Line". From what I gather, it's a lot like Yeasayer; only with a lot less synthesizers.

If I was Wikipedia, I could totally give up writing right here like those lazy bastards; which is you all, considering it's written by everyone. But I'm better than that. And there's a good chance I'm better than you specifically.

I don't know what you want me to tell you.
I guess you could listen to Yeasayer if you don't mind psychedelic hooks with enough spunk to leave you dizzy and feeling like you're riding a giant rainbow dragon through a chocolate forest with skittle volcanoes. Maybe they're for you. But I'd warn you to be careful. One moment you're bobbing your head to the likes of "Ambling Alp" and next you're turning tricks for another shot of LSD and fun dip. It's a slippery slope that you're sure to take a tumble down should you let these dangerously dancy deviants (alliteration FTW) into your home life.

My advice: if you're going to listen, make it a social thing. Do it with your friends. Do it while others are around to keep you company. But should you ever find yourself alone in a room all by yourself with the Yeasayer on, you've gone too far and it's time to start seeking out some professional help.
Or at the very least an MTV reality show.

Take that, Wiki.